'Always' Maxi Pads

This is an actual letter from an Austin , TX, woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach In tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood
swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong',

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,

Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX

Alaska = Devotion

I want to start out by giving a little information about how we ended up living in "The Last frontier". Bryan && I have been together for 10 months as of August 12th. We're from different parts of the country but both ended up in the Bay Area of California. He's in the Coast Guard && my mom works for the Coast Guard. So I gradually became friends with many Coasties && that's when Bryan && I met in early October of 2007. We've been inseperable since. We got an apartment together in November in the Lake Merritt District of Oakland && soon after, he had to make a choice of where he'd want to go next. I told him right away that I would stay by his side. We wanted to choose a place neither of us had ever been. Somewhere laid back, away from the lively Bay Area lifestyle.

Looking at the above picture, that's exactly what we got when we chose Valdez, Alaska. The biggest change of our lives. Bryan grew up camping, hiking, fishing && hunting. My upbringing was the exact opposite. We both decided to throw ourselves into the unknown. I was excited && scared at the same time. When you think of Alaska, you think of wild animals && tons of snow. Both are not far from reality. Despite the snow on top of the mountains depicted above, we took this picture in June. It's gotten no warmer than 65 degrees since we got here at the end of June. I've heard that we'll have snow before Halloween this year. We had no idea what we were in for.

The day we got here we viewed the place we had only seen online through pictures. It was furnished. Something we'd planned for because of the lack of furniture we brought with us. We only brought what we could carry in the back of the truck. As you can imagine, we didn't have much. After seeing this place I knew we had to look further because it was far too dark && depressing. Bryans mom went for a walk down the street && happened upon another place for rent && peeked in the window. She came running back down the road && told us we had to come look at this place. It had wood (fake of course) floors, && the entire inside of the house had been redone. We called the number immediately && decided it was where we wanted to live. Although it was a trailor, it was the Taj Mahal of trailors as our landlord put it.






Above are pictures of the inside of the trailor && the last picture is looking out or kitchen door. The view is unlike anything I've ever seen. I still can't get over the fact that we live someplace this gorgeous!

How amazing is it to be able to take pictures of a glacier! They're all melting of course, at least the ones in the glacier field are where I took this picture.

On another note... I just found out on Labor Day that I'm pregnant. Everyone said that it was only a matter of time. I guess Valdez has a reputation for people moving here && getting pregnant. No matter, I'm completely excited about it!! I'm only about 5 1/2 weeks along so the baby looks like a tad pole according to sites I've visited, LoL. Soon it'll look like a baby whale, then an alien, a monkey && finally at around 16 weeks it starts to resemble a human. =) I can't wait to find out what we're having. Bryan && I were already talking about marriage so when he gets back from his patrol we're going to have a court house wedding until we can afford to have a larger one with family && friends in New Mexico. I can't even voice how exciting this is.